Pants on Fire

It really bothers me when people blatantly lie on their resume. We live in a small town. We know every chef in town. A little fudge of the truth can most of the time be "interpretive." A recent resume we got was outrageous.

The little fucker used to work here. He was our weakest link and was on the chopping block after I later found out he lied about graduating culinary school. He knew his time was coming so he put in his notice and quit. Good riddance.

I put an ad out for a cook and the dip shit sent me his resume. When describing his job here it said things like: "managed the kitchen while the executive chef was away," "had full creative control over the menu," and "managed the pantry, saute, grill, and catering staff." First off the little bag of dicks only worked the pantry and struggled horribly with it. He was nowhere near ready to even get a shift on the grill, saute, or catering let alone "manage" those appointments.

What was most disturbing was the claim that he was number two after our executive chef. That really bothered our executive chef. So much that he wrote to the fuck wad and gave him his strong professional opinion about his resume, his cooking ability, and his future as a cook. Out of respect to my chef I will not repeat what he said on this blog. It was wonderfully harsh, but honest. Here is the the cock hole's response:

"I'm competing with hundreds of other cooks every time I apply. I had only just built the new resume, so I lied my ass off in hopes to at least just find any position."

He then said some things to Chef that almost warranted an ass kicking by our staff. Our staff would surely fuck somebody up for Chef. Without surprise Chef found what he said to be hilarious. He is still laughing about it. I myself am still a little pissed off by it. Several times I've received resumes and calls about resumes to find out that someone who used to work here is claiming they were the "Sous Chef." It never bothered me before. This one kind of does.

In retaliation I'm going to contact every fine dining chef in town and black ball that little mother fucker. Then I'm going to do the same to the cafe and institutional chefs that I know in town. He's been unemployed since he quit here in early January. He can't seem to find a job. It is about to get a lot worse for him.