Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug

Yo, ______(insert dishwashers name) can I get a pan to heat up some soup? Sounds so simple yet some people just cant quite grasp the concept. This is what he brought me.

This God Damn pot will not even fit on the burners or hold more then 6oz of anything. You can leave it off to the side so it scorches half of the contents and the other half will still be cold or stand there and hold it.

Torchon of Foie Gras

Marinated in Port Wine, Brandy and Espellette. Salt Cured and served with Ginger Confit, Caramelized Pineapple and toasted Brioche. Finished with Fleur de Sel and Sherry Gastrique.

Employee of the Month

I nominate R____ V. for the month of April though there are still two shifts to go. We have a no-brainer banquet for 30 to-night and I am highly confident that she won't let me down.

Hobbies: completely justifying the $2.38 we pay her hourly, refusing to acknowledge that we have a written menu, using multiple modifiers to create items that are already on the menu ("I've never had anyone order that before!")
Recent accomplishment: sending the "General Manager" into a mid-rush tizzy by telling her that we were out of dinner bread instead of asking any of the five employees who actually know where we keep the backup bread
Favorite color: clear

sent from my mobile device

Pork belly + rapini

belly blues and thensome

   I have a minor dilemma and a semi-minor dilemma and I can't think of a better place to pose both.  First off, big thanks to meatphishsaltandpepper for great help braising the belly.  It turned out pretty well though I have yet to see how looks after sitting overnight and I will tell you how I ended up doing it in light of dilemma numero uno.  I cut the belly in half (half of half actually since cornstarch and I split a whole belly) and seared it in two large saute pans.  My Evil Empire rep was already there for her order and characteristically annoying the piss out of me, so I was a little rushed and extremely annoyed.  I rough chopped the celery, carrots and onion, laid the seared belly pieces on top and put it in the oven with the just a bit of garlic oil that I used to sear them while I made a  quick pork stock in the saute pans.  Once the veggies had a little caramelization, I added the stock and let it ride for two hours, adding just a little water and KE PG (yeah, right!) towards the end.  The skin was nice and crispy and even bubbled in a few spots like a pizza crust.  I pulled it off and exposed the fat, but here's where I think I went a little off track.  The skin (or rind?) didn't just easily lift off in a couple of spots, especially near the edges where it had really crusted up.  I got it all off with little difficulty, but it pulled a little of the stringy luscious meat with it.  In any case, I put it all back in to brown the fat a little and gave it another thirty minutes.  All said and done, it tastes pretty damn good and the veggies are otherwordly.  I separated the veggies, the belly, the skin and braising liquid and put in the walk-in until after dinner.  When I investigated near the end of the night, it just seemed like I had so little finished product as far as the belly meat.  It tastes delicious ice cold and I had to stop myself from making little "sandwiches" with the carrots, but I wonder what to do next.  I had planned on portioning it into little squares and putting it either under or atop an eight-ounce filet mignon with broccoli rabe and the veg puree fortified with demi.  I don't know if I want to do that anymore for some reason.  Now, I think I want to run it as an app with broccoli rabe and peppers and the same sauce, but I don't know.  Part of it is that I really need to run veal as special to-night, but that's a whole 'nother issue.  I'll figure it out, but any thoughts or suggestions would be Highly appreciated.
     Issue numero dos isn't such an issue, though I would like to resolve it by to-morrow night.  I have a bunch of winery bigwigs coming from _________ for dinner next Tuesday.  There only eight to ten of them and the VIP who usually brings them won't be there, so I'm not going all out though I still want it to be soigne and fairly creative.  Since I assume it is going to be in the high 80's or 90's next Tuesday, I am keeping it as light as possible even though they will likely be drinking '96 Barolos and/or Cabs.  As it stands, I'm planning on confited duck legs with a chopped salad for first course, stuffed pork loin or tenderloin saltimbocca second and then seafood cioppino third.  They also want hors d'ouevres and that's where I'm stuck.  I don't want to overfeed them, it has to be SIMPLE and I just can't seem to think of anything that I like.  I wanted to do a variation of sausage and peppers with broccoli rabe, but it needs to be amuse size and obviously less messy than something like that.  I hate to sound like a slacker, but I really don't want to put that much effort into it without going so far as to bring in something premade from D'Artagnan.  Thanks, Chefs and happy Wednesday.

put on your running shoes, Big Perm

I've been back in the saddle for three weeks now. I am loving life in ways I never have before. The kitchen is cleaner, the staff is more awake, and we are getting a new high temp dish machine next week. To top that the summer menu is 99% done, morel season is starting, and Interactive Sushi Class has come and gone. To top that I got a half dozen wine club recipes written, prepared, photographed and delivered a week ahead of schedule (thank you Cecil). What next?

I am taking away the cooks copy of the tickets this coming Friday and Saturday nights. I am calling all the food for service. The dinner staff has been reading their own tickets since I left 9 months ago. Since I've been back I've observed their methods of calling, cooking, and plating the food. When it gets busy they get sloppy, and spend more time reading that cooking. Clearly it is my job to be in the expo window and now that the kitchen is getting back to the way I like it I will be camping out there for the summer.

This weekend will put them and myself to the test. Our summer menu, summer hours, and summer rushes are just one month away. Also, we are getting a brand new crop of food runners. I wish them bitches good luck. What's funny is right now they think I am really nice.

Our staff is better than ever and I know there is no stopping the momentum into summer. I can't wait:

"All right boys and girls, listen to my voice, I will guide you!! All day from the grill I need 17 filet, 4 rare, 8 medium 2 with foie, 2 med well, and 3 well walking with 11 salmon, and 6 lamb, one rare no turnips, 3 medium, and a well no salt. How long??!!!"

lah dee dah

last friday at my new joint i heard some of the goddamned kookiest music i've ever heard in a kitchen.  don't get me wrong, i didn't hate any of it at all, it was just, well...wierd.  there was indian sitar-techno, youtube star wars raps, and something called major laser that everybody was way into.  it was all super cool but not what i'd call motivational.  the kitchens i'm used to working in tend to steer toward the metal (or maybe it's just me having control of the music), but metal pumps people up.  whether it's good ol metallica and slayer, or 80s metal like van halen, ratt, and skid row, metal is motivation.  i worked in a kitchen where the manager would play endless phish tapes and it was a nightmare.  don't get me wrong, phish is all good for taking bongs and rubbing mud on your nasty bits, but it doesn't make me want to crank out a dinner rush.

i have about six hundred songs on my blackberry that i put on random and rock out to...it's quite a diverse playlist, but it's mostly upbeat power stuff.  the shuffle play on it has a mind of it's own but lately it's been awesome, and here's what i've been rocking lately...early van halen (always), the darkness, the cult, copious amounts of the mad caddies and the toasters, cage the elephant, the fratellis, the strokes, the dance hall crashers, green day (early green day), and as always lots and lots of metallica.  occasionally it'll toss in a super random song like tears from a clown by smokey robinson or machinegun by the commodores, or some men at work.

basically as long as it's not hippie crap i'm good with it.  what's playin in your kitchen everybody?

Fucking Sundays are for sleeping in

Sundays normally kick ass for many reasons. First we have a radio just for the kitchen. We can play rap and listen to stand-up comics. The kitchen staff is thin which just makes it easier to get things done. I work on Saturday so I know what I am walking into on Sunday. Does anyone see any problems with that previous sentence? Lets just say it was a good thing I did not have any bong hits this morning. So I walked in and before I even got changed someone asked about soup. Really?? Does it look like I have been hiding in the back making it? Soup OK which one? Mushroom, carrot and pea?? We need all three?? SO at this point my whole plan for the day is being readjusted. No sweat I have time and I did not have any drinks last night so am moving efficiently. So around 840 someone asked about the catering order? What catering order? I look at the catering board first thing in the morning every morning. That order was not there!! Oh you had it out front for some fucked up reason? Is your favorite color clear?? Oh and it is for 9am, as in 20 fucking minutes form now. So it was for 2.5 pounds of mushroom salad. I have never even seen this salad before but knew I has some pasta cooked off and thought we could pull this off. Then I am informed it gets some special pasta. The shaft enters my ass at this point just the tip, but with no lube. The salad gets mushroom pasta, roasted mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, parm, red wine vin, and frisee. So I grab a pot to put water on while the salad guy grab the mushrooms. Oh we have no RWV made, two more inches enter my ass. So the guy who makes sandwiches quickly starts making the dressing. 8:51am water is on, mushrooms are roasting and RWV is being made. We might pull this off with time to spare. Well my short Pastry team cannot reach the back burners on our stove.... 6 more inches enter surprisingly easily. Pastry person did not turn he back burner on!!!!!!! Fuck Me I should still be sleeping it is not even 9am. Three minutes later I got the burner turned back on. The pasta needs 5-7 minutes and I will cutting it close for the deadline. 8:57am pasta hits the H2O and the person arrives to pick up the order. I tell the FOH person to chit-chat but she is as useless as a cutting board at McDonalds. So at 9:03 the pasta was done and I reached to the back to grab it. I was admiring the all the hair on my arm just the other day, thank Jo-bu because it is now gone. So we got it out around 9:07ish how could the day get any worse right. Well I thought I was all smart cooking down my onions together for all the soups in one pot. Well the bread dude makes pretzels and need the front burner for that which is fine, he is fast and neat. But he turns the back burner on high and starts browning my onions and garlic. Two more inches find room in my colon. We are out of onions, you know because it is Sunday and any produce we have was ordered on Friday. Two more inches enter and now I am walking funny. Fuck Fuck Fuck. So I tore apart the walk-in and found some random onions bits. Now it is time to be an asshole, got them going in separate pots this time just so I could fill the stove up and keep people off of it. I do this when I get busy since the stove is my station and I need room to work sometimes. We only have six burners which is not enough.

By noon I had mostly recovered. Soups were made but they needed to be adjusted which is no big deal. The grill, which is outside, was fired up for some quail. Around 2pm my ipod made into the radio and I was loving life. Someone made me a caffeinated elixir which was just what I needed after my morning.

I might have to work Sundays but don't call it brunch.

closing?

This one has been bugging me for a long time. As I mentioned in a earlier post, there is a local food blog that I read, mostly for a good chuckle, and I will not mention the name because of the trouble our colleague Mikey with his blog(more on that fourthcoming). This blogger is a real knucklehead. Writes reviews on local restaurants, takes master food preserving and garden classes blah blah blah blah blah. They have deleted more of my comments than have stayed. Like I said, knows a little about everything. I really cant stand it and it gets me fired up every time I read it. Here's an example, just a little sample: "I think I’ve turned a corner on my academic work. It’s taken me nine months of struggle to finish up loose ends left dangling from my dissertation exile, publish a couple of articles, invent a few new classes for the job I started immediately after finishing the Ph.D., start new work for conferences and grant proposals, make travel plans, plus a host of other teaching and administrative stuff that’s par for the course. But I’ve done it." Now what the fuck that has to do with food I dont know, but it's cool you have a Ph.D..
The first time I read this blog it was complaining about how employees are treated by employers. An iconic restaurant in our little town closed a year or so ago.....someone bought it from the original owners as a hobby and ran it into the ground. They ended up closing the place. This blogger was enraged that the employees got no notice other than a sign on the door when they showed up for their shifts. How unethical of them. How dare they treat their waitstaff, busboys, and dishwashers like they are expendable. FUCKING NEWSFLASH:WE ARE. No one is bigger than any one place. I hope you all know that. Now, Ive never owned a restaurant, and I don't know if you all have or not. I would like to think I wouldn't run it into the ground, but you never know. My question to you is how would you handle it if you had to close? Would you give everyone(including the crack head dishwasher,drunk ass line cook, and fucking greedy waiter)two weeks notice so the could steal you blind? I don't think of myself as too much of a prick, but my bottom line is that unless I really know you, and I mean REALLY know you I don't fucking trust you......so for me no one gets notice. How about you?

Tonight's Amuse Bouche

Cucumber Oyster Foam with Red and White Verjus pickled shallots and fennel

iced Chai chargers + the countdown

So Saturday has arrived yet again and my weekend is less than three hundred minutes or so from realization. To make it even better, my dearest darling swung by the restaurant with some liquid crack that I have vowed not to chug. I know that we have a few on the book, but the first reservation is still eons from now and the waiting game has only just begun.

sent from my mobile mise en place

Last supper